Megarockstar,

Sewing is one way I solve these home dec problems.

I just consulted with an owner of a high end linen shop here in town.  She sends the duvets and comforters out to do the exact thing I said to do but  with twill tape, not ribbon.

She typically has six ties attached, four on each corner and two on each side.  That's the way the pros do it. I hope you can figure this out.

I remember that fish bowl!! That's GREAT! Was it just like the one in the link? Did you buy it????